it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
