how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
