my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
