dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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