the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Randomize
