What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
