so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
