Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Randomize
