Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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