I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
