cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
as a side note pls kill me
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
