i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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