hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Randomize
