Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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