is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
