try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
