Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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