Well douche your snatch and let's go!
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
