His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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