oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
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