Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
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