He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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