i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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