Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
