They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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