my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
She announced her abortion via fbk
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize
