I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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