Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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