i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
