I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
