this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
His hands were made for my vagina.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I want a musical about memes.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
