Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
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