Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
two words: eviction party
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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