We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Randomize
