Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
