remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
