hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
