No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
