Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Randomize
