So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
