I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Randomize
