Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
