No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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