I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
