I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
