At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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