my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
