Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Randomize
