I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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