Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
